Out Of Body, Back at 9:38 am

{{I have to keep writing...  I have to keep writing...  I have to keep writing...}}

Have you ever left your body?

Whew and WHOAH.

To keep my mind occupied these past thirteen days (interesting number there), I have been delving (back) into the world of astral projection.  I know that it is possible, because I had done it at least twice in my past, but it had been twenty years, probably, since my last experience with it.  (I’ll revisit those experiences in later blogs, and may even end up dedicating a blog to this topic alone, depending on how much of a part of my life it becomes.)

Suffice it to say that not only am I and have I always been uniquely fascinated by this subject, but honestly and maybe a bit selfishly, also, I have been looking into this as a possible way of visiting my friend who has passed on.  I realize that, to some, this might seem somehow desperate, but I have begun to care less and less what people think of me these days.  (Yet, at the same time, somehow, I have also made it a pact with myself to ALSO listen MORE to my closest circle of friends, when they seem to have something that they really feel that I need to know.  Thus, a balance there where it works for me.)

Thirteen days.  Time changes tomorrow.  So many seemingly strange things happening around me... yet... not the least of which was what happened to me today, in my own bedroom.

Almost every day that I can remember being here since Blane’s death to this world, I have found myself consciously trying to take an astral journey into the Otherworlds.  (Whatever or how many “worlds” there may be... and I got some of those answers today!)  Anyhow, It hasn’t worked.  I’ve ended up empty, frustrated, full of more doubt each and every day.  Were those experiences from my past, “just dreams?”  No, I tested them, at least once, and found evidence to provide proof enough to at least myself, that the experiences were authentic.  Real.  Genuine.  However you wish to interpret that thought/those words.  (Like I said, I’ll tell ya all about those experiences later, but now...)

So anyway today, after days and now weeks of reading up on astral projection, watching every single episode I can possibly get my hands on of anything even remotely scientific concerning other worlds and dimensions (I watch “Through The Wormhole” with Morgan Freeman, and I highly recommend it, and “Dark Matters, Twisted But True,” also very cool, “Curiosity,” and most recently, “NOVA, The Fabric Of the Cosmos,”  best one of all so far, or at least tied with “Wormhole.”  Neat schtuff, all.  These programs and this reading has opened my mind to new information about our universe and its possibilities and eccentricities, made me  interested and aware, and intrigued me, to say the least.  I can see myself on a new search for all sorts of scientific information in the near future.  But none of it answers any questions of personal experience.  (At least, for me.)  So, my search and efforts continued, as need be.

Each time I would try (to get out of my body), I would usually just fall asleep.  But in the last couple of days... I found myself drifting off, (to sleep) but then drifting back IN to awareness!  The trick they say, is to allow your body to fall asleep, while keeping your conscious awake.  No small feat, I think, if you are unaware of what you are seeking, in the feeling of it, and if you have “forgotten” how to do it, almost completely.  (I think we are all subconsciously aware of how to do this, and that we have just forgotten, or forgotten to believe that we can do this.)  One of the biggest hindrances is fear.  I have remembered slamming back down into my body, each of the other times that I did this, afraid of the sensations.  This time, I told myself, each time I tried and thought I might fall asleep, THERE WOULD BE NO FEAR.”  And, there really hasn’t been.  Yet, I simply just kept falling asleep.

But.... NOT TODAY!!!

Today, I got out, traveled all over the place, saw and learned some incredible things, and came back, safely and soundly, all the while fully conscious (moreso than that even) and THAT, my friends, was only the beginning.

Although it was all crystal clear while it was happening, as soon as I came back, I realized that my mind was trying to forget.  (I think that is a natural mechanism, as are a lot of our “forgetting” mechanisms, for things “otherworldly,” or inexplicable to our little puny waking minds, so that our minds can contain themselves and function normally in waking life.  (Mind you, I am not calling waking life “real” life, in here, anymore, as opposed to “astral life,” out there, as I think that both are equally real and valid, especially after today.)  I immediately remembered my dream journal next to the bed, upon my return, and remembered that it is just really all about discipline.  Telling yourself NOT to forget.  Repetition.  Doing it over and over.  The best way to begin to remember again, I believe, is to simply start recording your dreams, each and every morning, upon waking, in a journal used just for that purpose.  (Though this was done in the middle of the day, and intentionally, as opposed to the other times in the past. COOL!)   Piecing together all that happened from my notes, which were rapidly jotted down as slurry of incomprehensible words as soon as I “came back,” here is the story in as much detail as I can currently remember it.

(I am so happy!)

I found myself OUT, without even really trying.  This was after I had done a bit of mediation, however, and then drifted off to “sleep,” but only for a short time.  (The meditation portion of this experience is deeply personal, and is of no real consequence here, it was just the manner in which I got myself to relax enough to begin to drift away on the waves of music and magick.  I believe there are many ways to meditate, and that each person has their own way that works best for them.  The most important feature of it, though, was that I just kept repeating the word LOVE.  Love Love LOVE.)  Then, poof, I awoke!  I remember being fully, absolutely conscious and knowing right away that my body was asleep, and in my bed, safely “back” in my bedroom, which was in a different place, or a different dimension of sorts.  But, at the same time, I knew that my mind was completely awake!  Yay!!!  I was just, elsewhere.  I went up and through the trees, following the advice that I had read from one young lady who had gone up and out many times, “Just lift your astral arms and fly up, Whooosh!”  It really was that easy.  Wheeee!  I saw a space in the sky between that tree branches that looked good.  I noticed that I didn’t recognize the tree, or where I was.  It didn’t seem to matter.  I flew up and over the clouds and though the sky, all over the place!  I was happy, and at peace, and having fun!!  I quickly realized that I could not only fly, but also walk, float or hover... and I could adopt a body or not, as easily as I wished, with a thought alone.  (Cool!)  I even remembered noticing at one point that if I wanted to that I could feel (really, really FEEL) the sensation of the rocks beneath my bare feet, or I could take off and scoot across the ground just above it just as well.  (HoverBel!) Time and space of course did not seem to exist, really, though I did feel the sensation of some kind of time ”passing” as I was experiencing this.  It is hard for me to tell how long it lasted, but it was pretty long and detailed! 

I floated over a football game.  Colors were reds, blacks, and white... even saw names on jerseys.  High school aged kids.  No one I recognized.  (In fact, there was no one out there that I recognized, until I found someone who I could talk to!)  Not sure why I was here.  (Holly?)

Went to Eldritch Grove, or a sacred grove type place that was similar to Eldritch Grove... but it looked different.  There was a small fire there the first time I visited.  Called out to Blane, no answer... looked out into the nighttime sky.  Dark and don’t remember seeing stars.  Recalled testing my “feet,” and yes, I could feel the rocks underneath them!  They were small they were sharp, they “hurt,” but not in a bad way.  Everything was all good and happy and groovy.

I ventured off again and found myself inside the bowels of a building.  I did not recognize it, but I saw it in much detail.  It was like an industrial building.  One of the rooms was somehow our former music studio (mine and Johnny’s.)  (Something about that just now clicked.) ;-)  I didn’t go in there but I felt a good sense about it.  It was overflowing with equipment and wires.  The corridors were a pretty green and blue, and white.  The ceilings were kind of low.  I kept going.  In another portion of the same building, there was a woman at a messy desk/cubicle/room off to the left of me.  She heard me!  But... she did not see me, and I didn’t want to scare her, so I stayed in the adjoining room.  I didn’t realize I was making noise.  She called out to me.  She said something about going ahead and taking the “cold shot glass.” Maybe she wanted me to fill it up with water from the fountain, I am not sure.  I think she was just trying to be polite and offer me coffee or a drink as it seemed her regular routine.  I moved on, floated and flew, so I could get out of there quickly enough that she would not discover that I was a disembodied person!  (I could see why ghosts or astral persons floating about might not wanna interact too much with humans on the “awake” planes all that much, now!  It would scare them out of their skins!  Whoops!)  This taught me that some persons in these awake planes, here and now, actually can communicate with those of us floating about in the astral worlds.  Lessons being learned at each and every turn!  Hundreds of them, even simultaneously.  There was no fear, no sense of urgency, a knowing that “All will be revealed...” (Thank you, Robert Plant.)  I also realized that it was possible to go and talk to any person at any time, whether or not they were “awake” or asleep, and that sometimes they may not even realize this.  This was because; parts of them could be doing several things simultaneously.  The mind can’t comprehend that right away, or we’d get all scattered and go nuts.  But there it was!  Answer after answer.  Easy enough to understand at the time.

I moved on.

I found myself back at the fire pit of the sacred grove.  I made the fire grow much larger, with nothing but a thought.  I realized that things were very, very malleable in this world!  Parts of it were connected to the “waking” world, parts of it were other dimensions, and parts of it were/are just in different times.  You could go anywhere!  So cool.  The fire was desolate (lonely) though and I was the only one there.  I kept searching for my lost friend.  I was sad that I could not find him.  I called out to him several times.  “Where are you?”  The feeling that I got was, “Not yet.”  I would soon learn the reason, from forces that were at work on this plane.  (My current, awake plane.)  Although I am well aware that this is all going on and is real at the time, I, in my unbelieving and earthy nature, still demand some sort of “proof.”  “Proof enough is coming.  Soon.”  I kept going back to that place to check again.  Hmmm.  Well, I have a mission, but it is not working.

I tried flying through a window, no problem.  I tried getting “stuck” in a windowsill, purposefully, and I was able to do that, too, and to feel it!  It was an odd sensation.  I was doubled over, leaning over the sill, half in and half out.  The I just flew away.

I found myself next on a street full of houses.  They were mostly abandoned, and though some were inhabited, they were all beautiful.  It partially reminded me of the Garden District in New Orleans... several stories, porches, muted greens, grays and blues... falling apart, some of them, though I do not think that (Nola) was where it was.  It was fall, as it is now, and the air was crisp and cool, as it is now, yet comfortable enough to travel around in.  I noticed people walking through the streets here.  Leaves were flying about on the sidewalks around their feet.  I started to fly around their heads, above them and around them, like I did at the football game.  They paid no notice of me.  But.  (BUT!)  Eventually, as I floated around the head of one young man (probably a bit younger than me), I noticed, that he... NOTICED me!  Now, this was not a person or a guide from “another” realm.  Right away, I knew that he was of our regular, waking world, in this day and age.  I asked, “Hey... can you SEE ME???”  His head turned a little to the right, right where I was, and he started softly chucking.  It was kind of like he was thinking “oh boy.  Here we go again.”  Like I was a fly or a gnat.  He was USED to this!  He said, “Yes, well, I can see you, in a way... though you look a little more translucent than people usually do.”  “Can you hear me?” I asked, and he said, “Yes, I can hear you,” and giggled and shook his head.  His daughter was walking a few feet in front of him, and I noticed he let her get ahead enough that he could softly talk to me.  He could talk to me in his mind only, but he chose to talk to me with his regular waking voice.  (Though very quietly.)  Apparently, his daughter knew of his predisposition to talking to disembodied spirits, but she wasn’t crazy about it.  So, in respect, he kept it somewhat quiet in her presence.  Still, he smiled as we walked together and talked.  He seemed fine with that, like he had expected it.  He has reddish brown hair and it is curled up in tiny ringlets.  His daughter was young (8 or 9?)  and had deep red (burgundy) hair.  I only saw her back.  He is shorter than me, and he has freckles all over his face.  His eyes are green and sparkly and clear, and kind of squinty.  Nice eyes.  I would recognize him in an instant if I saw him in the flesh.  He was younger than me, I think, though I am not sure how much younger.  He was nice and had a sunny, friendly disposition but a wild and dark streak, too.  He was like a rocker dude.  He said (without talking, this time) that he was into paranormal stuff like my friend here (J) that does medical at our events.  He said that he has been able to communicate with things from an early age and that this was one of the ways that he could work with such things on his path and not go too crazy.  (cool.)  His name starts with a G, though I am not at this time sure if I am supposed to mention that or not.  It is Gaelic sounding and hard to pronounce.  I tried to pronounce it several times but don’t think I ever got it quite right.  I am not sure if he was speaking in English or not, but we could understand each other nonetheless.  He told me that yes, he was indeed one of my guides, but that he lived here now on earth.  I asked him how that is possible when he is still here and alive on this earth.  He said “There are all kinds of guides!   Some live right here among us, some are our friends, our deceased loved ones, some don’t live here on this realm at all.  Some aren’t even human.”  So naturally, I started to bug him with questions!  He laughed and kept walking.  I laughed too.

My eyes seemed to be red and tired burning with past tears, as they have been in my waking life, though I hadn’t remembered crying here.

Where is my friend?  And most importantly... Why can’t I find him?  

He didn’t even seem to answer that question.  The feeling that I got, was that it wasn’t time for that answer right now, and that that would be answered soon enough.  And, that it would be okay.  I had something else to do right now.  Instead, he said, “Well there is that curse to contend with...”

Curse?

Don’t make me laugh, I said. 

“I don’t believe in curses.”  (Even the word makes me laugh.)

We both laughed.  It was beyond that.  It wasn’t a bad or evil thing he was talking about, but he just wanted me to see something.  It didn’t matter that I didn’t believe in curses.

He said, “Well,” and even looked right at me now, “You ARE a Witch, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes.”  I said.  “I am a witch... but, I don’t believe in curses.”

He chuckled, shook his head.  He wasn’t going to have time to say anymore, and he knew it.  His laugh was as if to say... “You’ll see.  It’s all good, and we’ll talk again more later.”

At that point, I heard a crying sound coming from one of the houses.  Somehow, it was “my” house, even though it did not look like my house.  I thought immediately of my daughter.  I had to run home, I told him... even still knowing that my body was safe at home in bed, and that Béla was at school, and probably perfectly safe there.  I tried to ignore it, because this conversation, and this experience, was so amazing, but I kept hearing it, and if you are a mother with a child and you think that you hear that child’s cry, there is nothing in this world that is going to stop you from going toward it.  So... even though I was not sure it was Béla, I went back toward the house.  I had to find out what it was.  I thanked G, and told him that I hoped that we would be able to see each other again and talk some more later.  I think he told me we could.

I quickly and easily made the transition back into my body.  There were no “jolts,” no strange vibrational feelings, no roughness of landing this time. (Thankfully.)  I just knew I had to get home.  I slowly opened my eyes, and right away, I knew things were okay at home.  I knew that Béla was at school, as I had thought in my travels, but I wasn’t sure she was okay, at school.  (I was pretty sure... but something was sure pulling me.  That crying was not to be ignored)

(Freaking cool experience right???  But unbelievably enough... This is where it gets really good and even more exciting.  “Needed proof this is all real, didjya?”  The Universe asked me?  K... Welp, Here ya go...)

I got up and looked around the room.  I thought... hmm... my phone.  If something is wrong with Béla, they will have called on my phone.  I turned and looked at the clock, just because I felt I needed to.  9:38 AM.  I had been away for a couple of hours, at least in “waking” time.  It took me a minute or two to find my phone.  I scrambled around but I knew I needed to find it.  Something was going on.

My ringer was turned off, still from the night before.  Mental check, TURN the ringer on during the day from now on!  Sheesh.  So, obviously, I had “heard” nothing.  But...

There was a message on my phone.  A voicemail.  Hmmm... Unrecognizable number.  And... it was local.  Well, for months now, pretty much as long as I have had my phone... I have been getting calls from people thinking that I am some refrigerator repair shop.  So, when I receive a call from an unknown number, I just usually don’t even bother answering it.  I always listen to the voicemails... but if it is someone I don’t recognize, and they are usually just looking for the repair guy, then I normally delete it.  (Sometimes I call them back and at least let them know they are calling the wrong number, so they won’t keep calling me, but not normally.)  Well, in the past couple of weeks, I thought maybe I had had previous calls from this same number.  And furthermore, the message was strange.  (I listened to it right away.)  It was something like... “My name is so and so... and I would like to ask you some questions.  I would appreciate a call back at your convenience.”  End of story.  Nothing about whom or what they were looking for, and just real brief, so I figured it had to be just another guy looking for mister repair dude.  Welp... today, I thought twice about deleting that message.  I wondered why he hadn’t mentioned a refrigerator problem.  I thought, especially after this out of body experience, and that cry... that that was... maybe just kind of strange.  Probably not, I reasoned, but hmmm.  Who knows.  And, for some reason, I just had the feeling that I had to call this guy back.  As I pondered this, I looked at the time of the call.  9:38 AM.  On the nose.  Weird... I didn’t hear the phone ring.  But still... Exact time I had come back.  9:38.

Well, I picked up the phone, and hit “call” on the number.  When he answered, I asked for him by name, since she had left at least that for me.  I started into my usual speech (that I give to folks who keep calling me thinking that they are going to get a repair guy to call them back or even show up, and I don’t want them to be disappointed) and I started to give the usual schpeil.  “Hey there, someone just called me from your number... and I just wanted you to know that I think you have the wrong number.  Yeah, you probably don’t have the number that you think that you were dialing, because I have had this number for sometime now, and I keep getting calls from someone who thinks that I am refrigeration specialist or something.  So, ha ha... sorry, but I just wanted you to know that you had the wrong number.  So.”  “Silence.” “So, sorry... and uh, have a nice day?” “Oh, okay thanks.”  and then I think the guy was about to hang up.  (And I was about to hang up on him, too.)  But............ he didn’t.  

“Wellll........” he started talking again, slowly, and obviously very hesitantly, I put the phone back to my ear.  “Actually,” he said... “I was looking for ‘Bethany.’ ”  “Oh.” I said.  “Well, yeah, that’s not me.  Sorry!”  (I didn’t give him my name.)  So, yep, you probably have the wrong number.”  And then silence again, and then... he continued talking... and my brow furrowed up.  “Welll.......” he began again... “Actuallllyyyyyy....   I am kind of looking for this place called Wolvenwold.” 

BANG. 

A light went off in my head.  (Mmmm hmmm, I thought, what was coming here?)  

“Uhmmm... well, yes... this is Wolvenwold... um, this is Bel.  So..... uhmmmm.... maybe you do have the right number?  What are you looking for, and how can I help you?”  At this point I am thinking... okay.  I have never, ever had a person, in the thirteen (there it is again) years that I have been living here, just call me out of the blue, to discuss anything, remotely “magickally” oriented, other than common festival questions.  So now... okay misses and mister Universe.... you have my attention.  This person is calling for me, after all, and he needs to talk to me.

“Well,” he continued... I am having a problem with my wife.”  Uh oh.  He went on to describe to me that she was having some problems, and that she was convinced that she was under some sort of a curse, from some “bad witches.”  (A curse.  Exact words.  Right.  The curse I don’t believe in, remember?)  Hmmmm.  Okay....

So I listened as he explained how she thought that they were attacking her, causing her grief, fear, and real physical symptoms.  She was frightened, and he was at a loss.  He seemed desperate.  He didn’t know what to do for her.  He said that he had called me before.  (Now I felt bad...)  He said that he just didn’t know where to turn.  He told me that she had returned home from work daily, with worse tales than the day before, each day, recently, and that she thought that her life was being taken over.  He went in to a few of the details.  I let him talk.  I listened.  I didn’t say a word.  I could feel his pain, and hers, too.  He told me that she had just called him, from work, just a couple of minutes ago and that she had been crying on and off for days or weeks now about this.  (The little girl crying from my house.)  She was genuinely, honestly, terrified for her life.  She was not functioning properly.

He went on to tell me about how he “knew” about certain aspects of magick, and that he had an open mind.  I asked him if he thought she would talk to me.  He said, “Oh yes, right away.”  She called me as soon as she got home from work.  We talked for a while on the phone, but she couldn’t hear me very well.  I felt such sympathy for her.  It seems that she honestly believes that there are a small group of people at her work, who are trying to put the “evil eye” on her, and that they are causing her pain, and fear, and to do things that she would not normally do.  I wonder how I am going to explain to her that she gives them control with her fear, and that they simply cannot control her, without it.  I make my mind up before I even get off of the phone with her, I have to try and help her.  I am scheduled to go over there tomorrow (it turns out that they are very close neighbors of mine), and I will do what I can.  I have prepared an amulet for her with my own hands today, a nice calming and healing amulet, made her a bag of mojo stones (a combination of protective stones, calming and loving stones) and a few other things that she can use to calm herself and empower herself enough to realize that this is really under her control.  (And I hope that they do not mind my posting this... I won’t use any names, naturally, and I will also let them know all about it tomorrow).  So.  This... this is truly amazing.

Yes, I am a witch.  Yes, I can help.  Yes, I understand, now, why my journey had to be cut short.  Why it will all be okay, and that I can easily return to those worlds, and my journeys, in the near future, when it is time.  Time is irrelevant.  People, places and wonders are awaiting me there.  I am so much happier today, than I have been in a very long time.  And now, I also have something of a purpose, at least as far as tomorrow goes.

I will let you know how it all turns out.

I love my life again this day. ;-)  I have visited (finally and once again) that other realm, found my “proof,” and I know again that there is happiness, much love, and so much wisdom and information “out there” and “in here” that I can’t even begin to process it right now.  (Or even remember a lot of it right now.)  But... it comes in small pieces.  It has to be that way.  If we knew everything all at once, it would... well, we just can’t.  We don’t need to right now.  There is enough out there to learn in this lifetime, to keep us plenty busy... much to learn.  I have much to do here, yet, much to do.  As one funny friend said to another just recently... something like “Get up.  Get out of bed and get moving.  You are breathing today, and thus you are alive... so you still have stuff to do here.  Get up, get going!”

Hahaha.

Bel

(Let this please serve as a reminder that I do not “need proof,” all of the time.  Thank you.)

Love Love Love.